The Second City: A Response

 This is a guest post by my brilliant boyfriend, Antonio.  After reading my poem he was inspired to write one in agreement but from his own perspective. I hope you enjoy! Maybe we will write a book together about these issues one day...

More than a second city/ it's a second life
One the average American wouldn't imagine. Am I right?/A new rendition of sin city call it shitty city/where your mind frame is me and my circle plus no one else/blame society since it so calls knows the truth/since nowadays it's become the new parents of the youth/oh not true?/I don't sag my pants/no baby mama drama/have a job/career/I don't bang on the corner/don't call women out of name/not scared when I mess up to take the blame/never want handouts always looking to venture out of my lane/just sayin.... Oh and by the way I'm a African American/speaking for those in the second city/yea we survived but it wasn't pretty/don't forget where you come from and become all sidity/always keep it real and be cool/cus we know those dont understand don't have the balls to walk through our shit in our shoes.... (Literally)
This is for any and all people/I'm just one of many reppin the second city

Second City

The following is some of my unpolished thoughts on the racial and class divisions in Chicago.  While it may be a grand tourist attraction to some, many of the youth in the inner city have a feeling of being trapped without the ability to escape from the poverty that seems inevitable. This poem is just some of my rambling but I think it speaks to the need for more people to be aware of the invisible chains that society places on these youth and their inability to break free.

A tale of two cities except there's just one 

City streets tell a story but only to some

One child marvels at the lights around him

while others get chills as the nights surround them

People come and people go each day, each year

Unaware of the prison walls that lock some in fear

Freedom, not an unfamiliar sight or fable told

But for those in the second city its something uncontrolled

No visible chains, no locks keep these citizens bound

yet their escape a distant dream to never be found

The same city that imparts hope and opportunity

for the forgotten it provides a desperate, hopeless unity

Citizens of the first city preach to these children to leave

To make something of themselves and just believe

but each sermon leaves these youth still enchained at their feet

With commands to run the race, but do not cheat

If cheating means merely hoping for the day

when the invisible chains will finally appear and fall away

Then cheating is the only way that this neglected city 

will see their dead-end wandering as more than just shitty

But, hear this, we won't stop until it is shown

that through a little invisibility and magic of our own

we can strike down the structures and chains that bind

and leave the tale of two cities far away, far behind.

 

Only then will the black son of God no longer face Abel's fate 

and maybe then the heart of the unaware Cain will choose to relate

Only then will a child's prison of great lakes: despair and self-pity

turn this second city of beauty into my city, his city, our city.

 

 

~Mackensey, 2012

Diversity of Strengths

There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us.” 1 Corinthians 12:4-6

Difference is something that we often run away from in life.  Most of us are drawn to similarities, find comfort in seeing where two ideas have common ground or love to discover mutual interests or friends when just meeting a new person.  Difference may be uncomfortable for many of us but it is the very thing that Paul claims builds the community of God.  The excerpt above from Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians speaks to this idea that God uses differences in each of us to create a unique, spiritual unity between believers.  Our first Amate House In-Service this year explored this idea and what it means to be a faith community filled with thirty-three distinctively different individuals.

The StrengthsFinder, which was the topic of our Fall In-Service day, helps to highlight these differences (and similarities) between individuals as they relate to certain strengths.  Each Amate House volunteer was asked to take the StrengthFinder assessment, which asked us a myriad of questions about ourselves and our personalities, and in the end received a list and explanation of our top five strengths.  While exploring our own strengths was enjoyable, our In-Service allowed us to see how our strengths and the strengths of our housemates complement each other and build our unique community.

While my top strengths included empathy, harmony and connectedness, I was able to discuss and sit next to my housemates that have the strengths of communication, intellection, or responsibility.  The diversity in strengths and thinking patterns within the Amate community, and even my own house community, gave me a renewed insight into the importance of individuals using their strengths to work together in service.  We all have tendencies and ways of thinking and behaving that are unique to our own temperaments and backgrounds but only when we work and serve together are we able to fully complement each other and create a cohesive whole.  Affirming the strengths that I see in myself and in others allowed me to become more aware of where I fit into the community and how I can use my special strengths to benefit and challenge the individuals around me.

Throughout the day I was continually reminded of the continuation of Paul’s letter in chapter 12 of 1 Corinthians in which he uses the metaphor of the human body to describe the community of believers.  Paul writes “you are the body of Christ, and each on of you is a part of it” and “God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be” (1 Corinthians 12: 18,27).  Just as the body has many parts that perform many functions, Paul reminds us that in a community each member has a different role to fill, which is not more or less important than the person next to him or her.  God’s work is accomplished when each part of the body or community performs its function with determination and passion.  This idea can help us better understand a cohesive community where we are able to willingly accept our roles, no matter what it may be, because we see them each as equally important and necessary in working together for God’s greater purpose.

If all the roles and strengths of the community were the same, then nothing would be accomplished or changed.  Therefore, just as God has created us with such diversity, we must embrace this difference in community, even when it is frustrating and confusing, so that we can work together to challenge and compliment each other. Discussing my strengths during our In-Service helped me realize that whether I’m the toe or the heart, which perform drastically different functions for the body, I have a central role to play in creating and sustaining the body of Christ in and through my community.

doubt... a self portrait

Everyday is a battle that I fight
that I can't even keep the end in sight
fighting to stay above the water
to swim for my life when the world's weighing down

My God saves me from myself daily
trying to figure my life out but failing
I want so many things but I'm waiting
Stuck in pause, just wanting this battle done

Everyday I choose to stay above it
Living a life that doesn't really fit
Jesus has saved me and freed me
but daily my doubts try to beat me.

I worry I fear but that's no way to live
My God is stronger and strength he gives
But sometimes I feel alone
trapped with my troubles and sorrows

I lie awake hoping for that day
When God, my Savior, takes them away
Suffering is part of life for now
but I rejoice in His love and bow
to the one who save my life
made me new, took my old, gave me you!

We aren't meant to walk this alone
that's why He never abandons us
and gives us partners in the battle
to strengthen us and bring us back
to faith in Him and trust
My mouth is full of words to say
but some are praise and some dismay

I choose joy and praise with hope
that my life has always been in His hands
Ups or downs he has carried me
and sometimes I wish not to see
that the burden I carry that stops me
is me...

My Sweet Gift

My love, my darling is off at sea
I'm missing him and he's missing me
I love him more and more each day
But wish he was in my arms so he could say
"Everything will work out just about right
because I'm never letting you outta my sight"
We would laugh and maybe cry so much
but all we really need is a single touch
to give the Lord up above His due thanks
for giving me Antonio Delonte Banks

Finding Beauty in the Broken

The word beauty is usually used to describe sunsets, a newborn baby, majestic mountains, flowers that you can smell from ten feet away, your significant other, or a night spent in laughter with friends. You know, beautiful things. But, what if beauty were to also describe the mud we have to trudge through after a month of constant rain, the mosquitos that have left our legs looking like we have chicken pox, the moment we get our hearts broken for the first time, or a life that has been filled with nothing but constant struggle? When we can see beauty as both of these things simultaneously is when our idea of beauty becomes God’s idea of beauty.


“How do you tell people that they are walking around shining like the sun!” Thomas Merton, a 20th century monk, penned those words. Through spending time in deep prayer, his view of the world and the broken, sinful people in it changed from disgust to awe. He claimed that he could not see people around him without first seeing their beauty and seeing God’s glory through them. I first heard this story in my Church in the 21st Century course taught by Father O’Brien. Throughout the beginning of the semester we have been discussing the idea that Catholics call a sacramental imagination, which means being able to see God’s beauty and grace in ordinary, every day things and circumstances. By cultivating this imagination, a simple sunset can turn into a supernatural revelation or a short conversation with the person you sit next to in class can be seen with an eternal purpose. So often, though, I speed through my day completely caught up in what I need to do next that I feel like I can’t even take a minute to stop and breathe, let alone admire a sunset or care about the lives of people in my path. If I want to follow Christ, though, my days need to slow down, because if I’m not looking for the beauty in life, I will not see it. Those people walking around every day that Merton said were “shining like the sun” will only be people who annoy me, bother me, or even anger me. If I can’t even see the beauty in things that are easy to find beauty in, like nature and loving relationships, then how can beauty be found in human brokenness and struggle?


In his message on suffering last week, Jon also touched on this idea that God brings beauty out of even the most painful or hopeless situations. The whole time I couldn’t stop thinking about the song by Laura Story called “Blessings.” If you haven’t heard it, seriously, stop reading this post and listen! She sings about how we often pray for blessings and comfort, yet through suffering and pain is when God’s mercy and beauty can be seen fully. I was talking to Antonio, my boyfriend, the other day about all the struggles he has had to face in his life and one thing he said stuck out to me, because it was as if God was saying it to me. After talking about how lonely he always felt because of the pain in his past, he said that being removed from the suffering and pain has shown him that God has protected, guided, and been there for him all along. Sometimes it takes hurt and pain in our lives to fully recognize and appreciate the amazing healing power of God. That doesn’t make the pain any less real, but a change of perspective can take what seems like purposeless hurt and make it life changing. It just struck me that I so often pray for pain to be taken away from me, but, like in Antonio’s case, pain is what often causes a change in our hearts and perspectives. The pain Antonio faced in his childhood and young adult years was horrendous, but has most clearly shown him the character of God and has shaped him into the man he is today. There is the beauty. When I can look at a human story that may be so broken and destructive, but still see God’s resurrecting power, I have found the beauty. In the end, beauty is not about us, it is about what God does in us and through us.

Music for the Weekend--8/15

Seems to be the theme in my life this week and hopefully the rest of my life.

Give Me Your Eyes by Brandon Heath