doubt... a self portrait

Everyday is a battle that I fight
that I can't even keep the end in sight
fighting to stay above the water
to swim for my life when the world's weighing down

My God saves me from myself daily
trying to figure my life out but failing
I want so many things but I'm waiting
Stuck in pause, just wanting this battle done

Everyday I choose to stay above it
Living a life that doesn't really fit
Jesus has saved me and freed me
but daily my doubts try to beat me.

I worry I fear but that's no way to live
My God is stronger and strength he gives
But sometimes I feel alone
trapped with my troubles and sorrows

I lie awake hoping for that day
When God, my Savior, takes them away
Suffering is part of life for now
but I rejoice in His love and bow
to the one who save my life
made me new, took my old, gave me you!

We aren't meant to walk this alone
that's why He never abandons us
and gives us partners in the battle
to strengthen us and bring us back
to faith in Him and trust
My mouth is full of words to say
but some are praise and some dismay

I choose joy and praise with hope
that my life has always been in His hands
Ups or downs he has carried me
and sometimes I wish not to see
that the burden I carry that stops me
is me...